Bent Walking Stick

Do I cause headaches with my actions and words

Stubborn and haphazard man kind of reporting for duty

And I remember depression was a microscope inside my head

Believing my efforts and prayers indefinitely immediately dead

Looking out of windows thinking all bullet points of points were lost

Thinking God thought I was a complete idiot and loss

Cutting my flesh and taking pills to punish myself, running for the hills

All too steep plus local river waters were too deep

I couldn’t walk away so I crawled to bed to weep

*

The vultures gather in their menacing circles and somehow my beautiful black skin mixes with purple because every day is a battle sometimes within my chest fears of falling lame rattle.

Am I Israel in the wilderness, am I rebellious and incompetent, has all God’s mercy towards me been spent?

Oh honey let’s just talk about the good times, Walk around smiling in the sunshine, get home and close the front door, wonder why we didn’t do more, lean on our understanding and judge our efforts as poor.

Oh honey, let’s just talk about the good times.

*

Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.

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