What is worst
A hand far away or a close one refusing
Focus, spent on passing clouds filled with promises and sound
Just a show, a show to draw attention away from real concerns
I’m drawn to you only to discover I’ve been deceiving myself, exaggerating your importance
What is worse?
Longing for you, looking for you, having you, only to find I’ve over seasoned the connection?
Staring at you, waiting for you, putting off essential things for a loud busy tone, coming near but you’re gone.
Dump, buckets, of comfort I’ve wanted from you and your schedule, I should cancel my one sided appointments
Focus, on anything positive to replace any expectation of satisfaction being fulfilled on my silly little timeline daydreams
What is worse
Pleading while your eyes are closed
Holding onto air with a closed fist, angry when I awake knowing I’ve missed, missed something productive while holding love foolishly wrapped with vanity in us.