Childhood
Taught me to look away
Somewhere else
Somewhere else must be safe.
Who understands
Where can I go
My tears fall
And I trip in the puddle.
–
Folded arms
Silent treatment
Cliché responses
Impossible or empty promises
Oh.
//
And I dare not scream at the sky
God you’re working but I prefer to see results with my eyes
Big differences between humans and you
Still the sting of my childhood makes me aloof.
//
Punishment is scary
Not as bad as silence
Or my feelings of a terrible performance.
Am I good enough to have your love
If lax in my devotion will you pack your affections up
Now you’ve already proven yourself many times throughout my life
Still I’m not sure and God I KNOW SUCH THINKING ISN’T RIGHT.
–
I keep seeing you with folded arms
Indifferent while I spiritually starve
Yes I know I know it’s all my fault and I can’t shake these lies
My childhood still stings and I’m a middle aged man surely I should be over such things
I’m unworthy to even speak and I puff out my chest but inside I’m the weakest weak
Oh.
//
Childhood
Taught me to look away
Taught me feeling safe isn’t safe.
Childhood
Taught me to hate myself
Taught my voice doesn’t matter
Oh God but prayer and belief are valuable keys and the enemy says it’s all empty
I know better but still can’t shake all of my letters aren’t well received
But it isn’t true yeah Jesus who will I listen to? You or the liar?
Remember when I was crying in the rain? Walking home feeling alone and in pain? You came to me.
