Magic Eraser Evening

Underneath a steaming collar hide my expectations so if they fail happy boat abandonment can be private you had me excited flames ignited then snow came,

My shoulders weakened heart rate elevated shrieking into a pillow got me again should have seen it coming now it’s time for me to reply it’s okay ain’t this something waiting for anyone to understand is dumb when the rule is to trust no one they ask why I’m partially numb calculated emptiness by my side as a large sum.

/

Old diary, old poetry, old wounds somehow fresh gotta check my feelings, control self.

It’s alright, I’ll learn to settle down and stop waiting for you.

/

Pretty pessimistic but hey I’ve had training first with pleading mild complaining tear waterfalls neck-straining outbursts clueless they ask what I’m saying guess this is the game we’re playing how about being dependable instead I’ll be short judge speech as a lost cause verdict guilty in my court after a large pause,

Because I want to be wanted above all instead I get seasonal affection yeah fall so cold in isolation patiently waiting contemplating my character greatest enemy in the mirror overstepping boundaries and barriers my fear is giving complete areas receiving halfhearted carriers that fly before saddened eyes, surprise.

/

Just writing it out like we do, showing my mental work as I do, keep it from my mouth and you know who, what good would it do?

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