Safeguards

Blurry bitter picture I refuse, still, slow untrusting feet shuffle forward,

Because hiding doesn’t make sense all waits ahead, God, I don’t trust enough,

What has been done to me? Why is fear a celebrated source of information? Voice cracking lies popping in sensitive ears,

Then I lay in bed telling myself unbelief will have my soul, tight grasp on uncertainty, instability.

*

I cry chunky tears of frustration, globs of discontent accumulate upon scales, a stronghold upon my eyes, this lack,

God!

Will I ever change? Will cares of this life devour all hope?

Can you save the most ridiculous people from themselves? I mean, will you?

Teach me regarding your armor, spiritual warfare, destroying puffed up enemy encampments.