Disconnect River Dirt

Disconnect River flooding over into places we never dreamed, stable places we swore invulnerability proudly blessed

Simplicity coating my certified complex seals, held with invalid guarantees but I still promoted them unaware

It’s better to be wary than trust these hands as I have counted on runways only to be banned slammed into half-hearted dirt, death instead of birth.

/

Adding up my life on the abacus tilting towards any unbalanced direction viewpoint indigestion, please Jesus don’t be filled with indignation I’m more confused than I’ve ever been

But in you, I can do all you’ve won I win.

/

Aware of justice but unclear on the mercy aspects project my fears on God’s face unbelief claiming there’s no more grace and I’m a complete fool crying waiting to be killed twice

Oh I’m supposed to be a perfect mask Christian writing butterfly poems never scared never torn Bible worn like a badge as if I didn’t walk away and fell back into shadows before

He could have left me to eat my vomit at an infested table screaming more want more only to vomit forth poison angry it didn’t stay inside murdering my organs, smiling.

/

It’s not distrust of you, I don’t trust any part of me, bold until action calls it’s easy to speak, so afraid of missing obvious clues, but here I am counting again instead of trusting

Far from beneficial falling in love with sadness she loves depression massacre plots towards gladness, what do my senses know, hijacked by hostile interference.

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