Hello
This is my examination table
My private room in silence
And no one hears me scream through changes
I’m undergoing some extreme procedures
Unseen performance life in a hidden theater
Why am I breathing soon to be discovered
Packed with problems tied unto each other
Got goodies too unknown to all okay maybe known to a few
I spit in my house on imaginary microphones
In public I long to be silent basically left alone
Still I can wear an extrovert mask causing energy to depart fast
Back under personal clouds I’m fighting for clarity
I think there’s something more than great in God Almighty
Flaws ripping my outlook and yes I’m fighting with right hooks
Spiritual eyes refreshed in holy books
Surgery underway
Through written windows
You get to see inside my head
All the good
Mostly bad
And I’m not ashamed because you’re the same
Different mix
Same blood
We all have need of repairs so judgment seems insane
What am I hoping for
I’m hoping to stop talking to the world like we’re friends
Be true to my true home
Asking my doctor to remove anything not beneficial to a greater purpose
Coming home ashamed
I wasn’t who I wanted to be today
Surgery needed right away
Unlike my previous method of cutting myself
Praying pleading with tears for help
Writing down my errors
Posting so you’ll beware
See the fare
See how I dare
To admit my flaws
Putting off the old man
Letter after letter
Brave
In a world of perfect people
You don’t need a doctor Mr. Complete
Mrs. Perfection you’re already better than me
And I’m unworthy of your air
I’ll sit over here with rejected people
Bullied almost to death
Rescued by a stumbling block
For what you call foolishness
Don’t need your praise to feel alive
Stars swimming in my opinions
Already dead but lying
Promising accurate directions
Senses incorrect
So much more to life than what I’ve been told
Once you see through the curtain you can’t look back
And pretend to fit in
It doesn’t feel the same so remove negative programming’s grip
Gears will fail and I slip unless I’m changed
Ask about me I’ve always been an unknown
Operation room welcomed and some pain is necessary to become grown
No apology for the havoc
I tell him to have at it
Let’s see what I become in the light
Will I choose to stand upright
Or emotional responses reattach
Led by base desires without scripture or logic to match
Mixed in with the largest batch of the same
Crowd mentality think
Blindfolded eyes blink
When told they can
A new creature
Vessel prepared for work
Spotless through and for the light
Not temporary or counterfeit
Verified legit
Nothing else matters down here
Breaking free from my own prison
A better creed.
