Lower Case

When writing I’d use a lower case g

To let the world know I didn’t trust or believe

That God Almighty existed or cared

Vile blasphemed curses sent towards air

Went back to my old ways feeling slick and wise

Used his name in vain refusing to apologize

Old posts still up as a testimony so others can see my journey isn’t fake far from phony

Friend I’ve been looking for acceptance

He told me I have it with him but I doubted asking questions

Sin beat me badly after following its suggestions

/

Some days I’m up on a cloud reading and praising God

Other days I feel the Holy Trinity and I are at odds

Rush home from work defeated with all momentum depleted any stored faith defiled then deleted

If God is speaking I cannot hear cannot heed it

Seasick

/

Writing in the dark swearing I’m completely lost while standing by the very entrance I’m seeking

Arms very short regarding any attempt to reach him

Grim future fears imagining wrath and indignation at the judgment seat fainting but when I wake up he’s still waiting with more

Consequences for my foolishness as I taste distance tonight and vomit only to scoop it up for tomorrow’s lunch

Just a hunch burning my hope-filled dreams by the bunch brunch bittersweet without sweetness and at the end

Who can win

Knocking nonchalantly whispering let me in let me in

Hearing no sir you’re covered in diseases it pleases us to ignore as much as your eyes blink you’ll stay sinking

Enemy tactics screaming he’s still a bastard

Running interference

Capital G although my circumstances surround without showing mercy.

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