I Feel Feelings Are Real

Gather myself after floating down the hall I’ve created in my sins.

Punishments behind every glass door mocking my unknown end.

Tears spring forth like a fountain of misery into a river of darkness I’ve made.

Wounded, wounded by my own blades.

I’m supposed to pretend perfection keeps me completely covered.

The role is to pretend make-believe makeup covers these scars, flaws, and broken skin.

Mourning.

Now guilt comes because who am I to feel bad when we all do when our consequences come?

Nobody says hey friend, play the depressing song where you cry at the end.

Nobody says read his work, he’s got the maddening lines with nails for chalk inside our heads.

Scream, get over yourself.

Scream, get over yourself.

Die silently by a window watching everyone else play yeah die without a whisper to the air.

Mourning.

Can I tell you a secret tonight?

I feel like failure is the only thing I get right.

Friends lie and say oh you’re a good man.

But I swear even God thinks I’m a garbage can.

And then I cry because I’m not thinking right.

Programming ripping confidence from my eyes.

Then I remember I deserve slivers of glass in my chest.

I just wish to pass any heavenly test.

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And I feel,

And I feel,

And I feel,

It feels so real.
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Then I feel,

Then I feel,

THEN I FEEL!

I FEEL!

Something is lying to me.

What are you thinking about after reading this?

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