Thriving Grass

It seems everyone else has life figured out,

I’m the only one walking around covered in doubts,

Barely know anything past breathing,

Meanwhile others know all while my purpose recedes yeah,

Everyone else has a place to go,

Meanwhile I don’t know where I am, stagnant, without flow,

Words come to smack my face,

While others hurl insults at others and stay paid,

Demons wearing gold chains behind lying scenes,

They have many worldly possessions while I budget to buy jeans,

Appearances play fight with perception,

Swear I’m a couple classes away from understanding my lessons,

Brother, I’m assessing grass behind other fences like is it real or artificial,

Sister, I’m feeling low today like God changed his mind, compelled to cut off anything beneficial,

But I know it’s just a test to save my character from being blind.

It seems everyone else has life figured out,

I’m the only one walking around with a closed mouth,

Writing  inquiries peers laugh asking what I’m talking about,

When my car breaks down they swear it’s what I deserve,

Turning on my bed afraid feeling pain and damaged nerves,

They say boy can’t you see you are kicked out onto every single curb,

Triple cursed and a verse containing verbs ain’t gonna bring you back,

Put a gun to your head while taking a bath,

And squeeze, be at ease, best believe, you’ll finally be free, from,

Waiting on a train that’ll never arrive,

Spitting on me screaming he’ll never survive,

Just look at his side of the fence, his grass refuses to thrive.

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