Ran away from every quiet moment.
Didn’t know I could rest and be safe.
In my cave slinging vicious insults.
Fully directed and produced by self at itself.
And who taught self-hate?
Demons behind eyes I trusted to the right and left.
Swore something was wrong busted and broken with me.
Why else would they say I was better suited to a casket life?
Unmarked grave to the abandoned soul.
Beatings directed towards my spirit hoping I would surrender to whispers of forfeiture.
Suicide whispered slightly with tears on her breath.
No one left up here but waste yea even God renounced his care.
Have you ever felt deep breath exhaled on your skin while cutting wrists swearing ungodlily laughing from somewhere underneath the floor?
Almost convinced good didn’t exist anymore but dead ends would thrive.
Until a box of nails and wood would become life, far from right.
Far from light.
I never belonged,
Imagined a better place,
With you and I unafraid,
You and I completely blessed and entirely safe.
All our haunting fears in secure graves,
Victory and abundant love always,
I believe that is where we belong,
So I cry now but remain strong,
Holding on to hope instead of fear,
Looking forward to seeing diverse brothers and sisters there.
Mountains high and divine valleys low.
I love you
Want to hold you
And I love you.