Staircase Momentum

We’ve reached walls of question marks, I smile, what else can I do while seeking direction lacking affection I don’t deserve?

Shorter words from a fool under transformation in plans to escape sin life, death farmstead, reaping my errors dodging arrows aimed at my head in my head, I’ve been careless.

Insult my attempts, efforts, thus far annoying like an overheating car in city traffic and at least I’m not cutting myself in measuring drastic outbursts.

Standing stranded in my own world cursed, pleading guilty but have mercy through every verse, please, I feel mediocre after every breath, faith needed to believe better.

For a moment, I saw the door good people go through and then it closed exposing my pathetic attempts to be a better man, banned, dammed, without momentum

And I suppose failure is a spiraling staircase walk with tired feet promising the next set will be different but it won’t be, uncertainty smacking hard, leaving marks each time.

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