Defeat Montage Tattoo

Today isn’t yesterday but I swear it might as well be.

Dashing, flipping, twirling out similar flawed pieces.

Brain isn’t swift, cannot detect obvious patterns.

.

Lose everything, everyone to find true self, embrace the isolation I’ve been growing.

Keep turning wheels in mud, cheering crowd pretends I’m breaking the speed of light.

.

Do not stay mad at me, I attempted on everything, I tried staying in this game even with several concussions.

Tell the world I’m burning in Hell, you weren’t paying attention real well, I’ve been mentally tortured since I was born here and believed in faith.

They say carry on, I ask length yeah how long, they say until there’s nothing left well here I am, empty.

.

Release my shortened breathing standing on a bridge just high enough I’ll feel every crack.

If every choice I’ve made has led me here oh I’m worthy of death, chase away any caring hearts, embarrassment won’t stop my stopping seal, envelope filled with an apology for wasting time.

.

Understand these hands lacking hands, slipping through cracks quickly, quicksand branded bans and bands play on until total defeat.

Past, what have I done?

Future, I don’t want to live to see what I’ll become.

Past what have I done?!

.

Fold hands and apologize before walking out with a white flag soaked in tears and blood.

Tried to stay. Today isn’t yesterday.

I bought the lie, paying the price, done rolling dice, this classroom doesn’t do grading curves at all.

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