Six Inch Nails Of Hurt Followed By Nine Inch Nails Of Misery

Running from razor blades

Running from any excuse to dive into nothingness

Silencing my failures

I’m not going to win

Running from sharpened knives

Running from myself

Cutting this vessel trying to find the real me

There’s no reason or help

I’m trying to live and love but there’s reason to go on and I won’t make it

Trying but I won’t make it,

In my room crying bitterly wishing I had a gun to exclaim how I feel

I’m no one

I’ve never been here.

Deeper than I can understand

Unable to do anything right

Even loving gods look away

I don’t want to be me because I’ve been taught I’m worthless

Yes

Yes

Some people win

Yes

Yes

Some people are garbage

Behold a nuisance within my flesh

One day I’ll be man enough to end this myself.

Stay away

Stay back

I’ll call the suicide hotline and they sigh

Just do it and stop calling us

I’m not going to win

Nothing is going to get better I’m lying to myself

If you knew how often I dangle my feet from edge of life

You would agree

Born as warning don’t be anything like this man.


Hurt myself to feel today

Cut my black skin open

Surely something good is somewhere I’ve missed

Surely I’m not just a first draft meant for termination

And fuck your understanding you’ve never felt like a waste

Thirty nine years and counting

I don’t want to see another birthday

Secretly I do but not like this.

Same days shuffled then repeated

Suicidal thought playlist in life’s Spotify

Don’t fucking make me go outside

I can’t do it anymore

Don’t make me go outside

I’m not going to win.

I’m okay

We all are

I’ll be right back

Stay where you are

I’ll be right back

We’re all okay.

5 thoughts on “Six Inch Nails Of Hurt Followed By Nine Inch Nails Of Misery

  1. You cannot find yourself
    by opening your skin
    keep running from knives
    you know is better to do it
    & not be in a dark scene.

    Keep running from razors
    they don’t give a solution
    suicidal thoughts and hurt
    it takes you to a disillusion.

    It’s hard having this feeling
    so distant to smile and play
    depression don’t give truce
    is difficult to keep it at bay
    I may can’t do much to help
    the least I can do today
    is wishing for you to have
    a Beautiful Happy Birthday!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True. I know these emotions are temporary currents, varied timing and strength. I love your reply and bonus points for it being a nice poem. Thanks for the upcoming birthday wishes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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