Expendable Notebook

Giving back to air

Know nothing there

Cannot explain

How serious I’ve been

/

Swear I’m ready to transform

Unfortunately fucking with hearts lukewarm

On the fence people turn my stomach

They want to damage feet until I plummet

Climbing ladders around crabs

Further down into depression

Pity party granted with blessings

Even with them I’m alone

/

Rope to impede movement

Holding back never up

Clueless to my dreams I’ll never forget

Saying I’m loved but refuse to read my shit

Too humid in despair pits

Still rocking messages in bottles sting

Looking for acceptance but phone never rings

/

If you could see

Inside this active volcano

Pressure

Coming to the surface in haste

Almost to my end

Lining up friends

How have you been

I apologise we’ll never speak again

Found a new tunnel

New grave site

Made my decision

Won’t think twice

Who are you to tell to hold

Grip lost

Even summer is cold.

Won’t think twice

Figurative venting

/

Don’t want to be your supporting actor

Prefer another role

Cuddle up to significance for change

Play instrumentals earning mental gains

They always know about me yet strangely I’m strange

Dusty book never earning a second look

Fine but don’t bother

Don’t pretend you’ll bother

Acknowledge an author

Oh my paperwork isn’t together attitudes and pinkies up refuse dismissal

So I write again launching sophisticated missiles

Defenses

We all have perimeter fences

Barbed wire here

Locked up but free here

Other side tinted other side clear

/

Giving back to nothing but air

I came from nothingness

Headed back with gifts

War stories.

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