I love you but it means nothing
Same old excuses and I’m weak
Splashing heavily to no avail
Got out, I’m changed, flirting with endings
She gives me hope with cold hands on my slippery throat
I’m going somewhere appreciation shown in every quote
Replace these temporary days with stability
Fuck these bills end my liability
Your god never wanted me
Mother didn’t want me
Father apathetic so mention my name he’ll forget it
As for partnership it doesn’t exist
Answers to my sick soul in slit wrists
Or shall a one bullet train become my bliss
Counted everything I have, fell short
Food, weed, sex, inadequate support
Bad crutches will abandon me in court
Sleeping pills or snorted rat poison portions
I’m erect, morbid, picking my poison
Done writing on dry erase moments
So happy but nothing changes
Even when I do.
Tell me no, I’m rejected, tell it to my face before I’m placed in nothing.
I love you too.
Tried for us and failed us too.
Built for failure.
Built for loss.
Unheard broken thoughts and goddamn I tried placing them together.
My hell a mirror.
A plain body length mirror.
I’m worthless to everyone and it’s time to stop pretending I can be saved.
I’m coming.
Let hot tar sin pour from feeble eyes as mocking tears
Never been
Never will be
Can’t let this
Can’t let this go on
It’s calling me
And I’ll reply to everyone how I’m just fine
While picking a perfect time
Mutilation
Can’t outrun truth
And I’ve been wasting everyone’s precious moments.
Your well-being is appreciated
believe in heart and in your soul
the wrong kind of help & support
can dig deeper that black hole
Thank God you can see through
don’t get involved in that cajole
keep learning about good support
studying and revising the scroll
one day you will find the real truth
to beat depression, secrets untold.
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