Carry And Conceal Bags

Under my ragged clothes and extremely dry skin, issues are tucked away

Months upon each other in which I don’t know how to function

Trusted an anchor until I watched it float solo

Reached out to someone blocking thoughtful loving moves I’ve made

Shown several times I’m far from a prize and risk of commitment

Half of what I do ruled idiotic

Passion undesirable these days

.

Why do you smoke so much

Binge then cry secretly in a damning mirror

Stand back at a great distance without faith in anyone

Crave intimacy, turning suspicious and annoyed when split shipments come

Simply, seen shiny true colors run without hesitation from me

.

I was awake and felt your hands on my body

Felt like a tool instead of a desired lover

A snack for here or there exposing my thoughts again

Should have just ate without worrying about the serving portion

This is what it is now, common knowledge, pretend like it matters until trial period expiration

Explanations are loose balloons this fool will stop releasing

Had a vision an older man said to stop dying inside

Stay quiet and deny my wants

Get high without getting high

Turn into negotiated limits

.

Dreams of a lover asking why I take passion personal

Explained numbness is preferable to these temporary emotions

Staying busy running mental circles will fix this mess

Blinders could be how we see the best

At what cost?

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