Ice Skating On Fire

Far from funny finding fault in every minute, taking everything personally, seriously my defenses were never down

I swore they were, it must be you, I’m sweet and loving too, just don’t trust anyone

Say I’m one hundred percent but my percentage is off by half because I’m damaged glass after a crash, everywhere, no home

They say I’m still a child being silly rapidly dying, never got a real adulthood, perception twisted

Some say this happens to the gifted, as if having gifts lift curse effects, plus I can’t afford therapy without deposited checks

Tucked in with my nightlight, even during hours of daylight.

/

I shove loved ones away and don’t see it because darkness makes clarity confusing

Final letters filled with goodbyes, filling buckets, filling my mind with relief

Unable to operate effectively while steering, scared but brave, flirting disrespectfully with a shallow grave

Hoping to overcome delusions, personal intrusions, internal bruising

Stay entering races and losing, award given for most deaths, pity parties always the best, cough

Don’t ask why I consider myself trash, it doesn’t matter, especially if you don’t care anyway, I’m not a wreck for slowing traffic, morbid bastards.

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