Speckled Silver

Earthquakes hidden away under miles of stunning wonder oh if you only knew how bubbling scars feel

Toss between dedication to living or crashing into an unforgiving sea

Friend I can pretend like the best of em while decaying word by word

I cannot open these rusted gates therefore you must make assumptions away from the truth

/

While your plans are organized, life worth living arranged extremely bright in a marvelous hue

My worthlessness grows underneath, contaminated ground, covered on the surface with deteriorating cardboard

Embarrassed telling anyone my instability whispers suicide when I breathe, I know I’m waste, inhospitable

/

Mistake, horrible error, behind, crawling during this race called life

Thunder escorting dark clouds without any rain, promises but really problems in which I get all blame

Learning stunted, shaky ground in everything, scent of horrid failures oh I’ve never been enough

Will you let me get high and think of other things than watching daydreams of blood creeping away

I tried running to a lover’s arm, I still need a hidden safe, only a matter of time before discovering I’m as strong as cheap plywood.

//

She goes wherever she wants

I’m stuck in a self inflicted Hell

She tells me I don’t need my medicine

Agreement made then I go suffer again

Hard to ask for a pipe and moments of silence

It’s the way I stop raging self violence

Until I’m free if it’s possible to find comfort within

Judge with your comments until I choose to drown instead of swim in this lake of despair

While your plans are organized, say I just need to do what you say while watching everything I want to be fade

World, I’m trying to live.

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