“Floor or Roof”

Eye death
Eye death (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

I wish it was easy to be done with this life

Go ahead and end things if I know I am right

There could be a good day or an answer tomorrow, maybe

Watching other people who seem to be functioning

I am on the line so people don’t think I’m suffering

Barely holding on I don’t think I belong here

Getting myself together shouldn’t break me apart

Feeling lost shouldn’t last for years or a lifetime

Wanting to curl up and sleep away day and nighttime

Day and nighttime

Living is my crime

Scattered thoughts and fucked up dreams

Nightmares scare and torment me damn

Can’t operate in daily life but because I haven’t killed anyone they say I’m alright

Failing my kids and my wife and any other person that counts on me twice

Wanting to escape was my medicine but I found that I still couldn’t win

Even those with the same issues tell me to get up and leave the tissues

What a nightmare hard to escape suicide leads to eternal torture living is the same way

Living is my crime

As if I wanted all of this

Dying could be good

Still what would I miss

Can’t you see the battle in the war

Should I scream at the ceiling or the floor

It’s so scary and pathetic it is funny in a torture kind of way

Caring so much about something I can’t control and won’t go away

But I can make it all end but indoctrination says there is no win

Tears begin again

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