This isn't whom I want to be Yet I'm standing still, Growth silent shrugging what's next? I wish to hide behind more time to think, Off target, past or ahead, missed blinks, Tell acquaintances I'm closed for repairs.

Silly? Be more serious. Your eyes stay fixed when I'm calm and focused. I worry my jokes have made me a cartoon character. Every thing I do or say seems funny to you. No more smiling, Fewer words, Being a man of fewer words shouldn't hurt, No more performances as a clown, Relinquishing my jester's … Continue reading Jest →

God, I feel useless. Work, recovery, sleep, repeat, rolling eyes starting at different screens. Annoyed with my personality, it feels like I'll never be clean. Wasting time looking for different times to waste. Oh God, will you heal my heart I've been hiding from your face. Always thinking that I can do better but won't. … Continue reading Valley Names →

Afraid of every enemy The greatest of them all lives in the walls Portraits of my face Weights and chains pushing through foolish thoughts and narrowing veins Am I doing doughnuts? Wasting yeah losing gas, preparing myself for a thud after a sudden crash, can't see out of the rearview windshield or any other glass, … Continue reading Orange Clay →

Dust in tall grass not able to see This season is dry and dead and quiet it seems, like distorted echoes. // Pretty empty gift boxes Glowing with glitter filled with crisp boring winds Like a chalkboard eraser to my eyes, dry. // Accuracy from my feelings are at an all time low Lies breach … Continue reading Red Pole →